For the love of Duo Maxwell
by Raurenu
Summary: My first non-yaoi humor fic. Non yaoi, so everyone will enjoy it, and humorous, because we all need it. You'll be glad you read it.


For the love of Duo Maxwell   
~raurenu  
  
~  
Usual disclaimers apply. I write this story under the freedom of the 1st amendment that shows I have the right to write whatever the heck I want to without being flamed. Have you ever had a title that you like so much that you just *needed* to write a story to go with it? Here's an example.  
~  
  
"Duo! What in heck are you doing up there?" The Japanese pilot yelled up a tree.  
"Nothin'," came the decided reply. But the rustle of leaves told Heero that he obviously *was* doing something.  
"Duo, I know you're doing something up there. People don't just climb into trees and sit there." Heero tried to make his voice as stern as his stony expression.  
"I do!" The voice up the tree replied happily.  
"Baka," Heero muttered. He would've run up that tree and shot Duo out of frustration by now if he didn't have that soft spot in his heart for him. Anyway, he wasn't worth wasting better used bullets.  
"Well?" a voice interrupted his thoughts.   
"Well what?" Heero returned.  
"Are you gonna just stand there all day? I'm not coming down for a while."  
Heero gave the tree one last glance before giving up and walking away.  
  
* * *  
It was a warm day, so Trowa and Wufei sat at the table beneath the tree sorting through minor engine parts, and trading dessert recipes.  
"Personally," Wufei began, "I prefer the classic approach to the final course- the cherry pie. And you, Trowa?"  
"Hmph" Trowa snorted as he attempted to connect two random pieces and failed, before realizing Wufei asked him a question. "Oh- uh, the lemon pie," he said, saying the first thing that came into his mind.  
A rather sick minded piece of shrubbery made a sound almost like smothered giggling and leaves fell onto the two pilot's heads.   
Wufei looked up suspiciously at the once again silent tree. "Since when," he began dryly. "do trees giggle?"   
"..." Trowa exclaimed.  
"Exactly," Wufei agreed. "NEVER!" And the tree was shaken by an exceptionally placed jumping roundhouse kick.   
And another. Leaves fell to the ground as Wufei repeatedly smacked the tree with various moves. "THOSE RECIPES WERE CONFIDENTIAL, BAKA!"  
"Okay! Okay! Sorry! You can quit hitting my tree, Wu-man!" Duo surrendered.  
"..." Trowa added.  
"You're right, Trowa." Wufei stopped. "He couldn't possibly have remembered my cherry pie recipe."  
"You mean a half-cup of sugar, four cups of flour, a quart of..." Duo went on as if reading a list.  
"This is INJUSTICE!" Wufei grabbed Trowa's conveniently placed Sailor Moon squirt gun. "You'll be soaked for the rest of your life!" he yelled as his battle cry.  
Trowa watched as man and tree fought, exchanging blows of pinecones and soaking streams of water. He looked left. Right. Left.   
Extremely disturbing violent noises came from both directions.  
Finally, Wufei realized that Duo couldn't cook for his life, and the recipe would be useless to him. It just wasn't worth getting knocked unconscious with pinecones. And Trowa was laughing way too hard.   
"Just- stay there! You lowly little- ingrate!" Wufei stammered as Trowa dragged him away.  
"Fine with me!" came the happy reply.  
  
* * *  
Quatre suddenly heard a rustling in the tree above him. Ignoring the machinery and pinecones scattered on the table where he put down his tea.  
"Hey Duo! Wufei and Trowa and Heero all look a little pissed . . . and they said it's your fault . . . What are you doing in that tree, anyway?"  
"Oh, nothin'" he responded lightly. "Just sittin' up here and workin' on stuff."  
"Cool!" Quatre said happily. "Can I help?"  
"No!" Duo said, a little too quickly. Quatre looked hurt. "I mean- it's kinda a one man operation."  
"Then in Allah's name, why *are* you up there?"  
"Oh," Quatre could feel the know-it-all grin, "You'll see."  
  
* * *  
There! He was done! Now he could finally climb done this tree. He piled his 'handiwork' into a bag and leaped down, braid flying upward.  
But as if to defy the laws of gravity, the braid never swooped down, and neither did his feet. He turned around to see Heero holding him by the braid, and all the other pilots standing around.  
"Hey! Get off my hair!" he yelled, trying to wriggle out of Heero's grasp.   
"Here's the baka," Heero stated. "What are you waiting for, take that bag!"   
"Oh no, you don't!" Duo grinned as he leaped out or Heero's hands and reach.   
"I'll get him!" Wufei yelled. "I'll take REVENGE for INJUSTICE!" He ran after Duo, who could have run faster, if he hadn't been laughing so hard.  
"Pass it to me, Duo!" Quatre shouted, and Duo tossed it to him, Wufei still chasing him.  
"Hey, I thought he was on our side!" Wufei stopped, out of breath.   
Trowa ran to tackle Quatre who threw the bag to Duo who was being chased by Heero. And thus an eclectic version of football was born, as most of the boys had never heard of the rousing American sport.  
Duo tried to explain it in mid-chase, but simply got tackled. Heero grabbed the bag and tossed it to Trowa, but Quatre received it in mid-air. Wufei charged at him and Quatre tried to pass the ball across the entire field to Duo.   
Suddenly the entire scene went in slow motion, as for dramatic effect. All the boys stood still to watch this amazing condition and started talking nonsense to see how funny it would sound in slow motion. "No~ooo! Duuuu~oo!!" The bag and its contents spilled in midair and fell to the ground.  
"No!" Duo shouted, suprised to find that his voice didn't drag on. He sighed, realizing they were no longer in the middle of a Dramatic Scene.  
Wufei ran to the bag. "Hey guys, look at these!"  
A sudden Suspenseful Moment. Was it treasure? Explosives? Or-  
"It's Shenlong Custom!"   
All the boys ran to find the cute little model custom gundams, exclaiming things like, "I've never seen these before!" and "Wow, Heavyarms doesn't suck!"  
"These are really good, Duo! How *ever* did you think of these?" Quatre asked with wide, admiring eyes.  
"Aw, it was nothin'" Duo said lightly, but he blushed with pride.  
However, Heero was not impressed.   
"Duo, these are the same Gundams that we use in Endless Waltz-"  
Duo slapped a hand over his mouth. "Don't say that! Endless Waltz hasn't started yet! Have you noticed that Trieze is still alive! *They* don't know about these gundams!"  
"And what, might I ask, are you going to do when they *do* find out?" Heero looked at the boys playing out battles with the model toys. They were even making 'zooming' noises as they pretended to fly them around in the air. It was pathetic.  
Duo grinned. "I'll run. Or hide. But I hope I don't haft lie to them." he parroted out the familiar phrase.  
"For the love of God, Duo Maxwell," Heero tried not to smile. "What the heck are we ever gonna with you?"  
"I dunno," the grin was bigger now. "Since there's no war for seven years, I'll think of something!" And so he went off to play battle gundam with the other boys.  
Eventually, Heero joined, too.  



End file.
